Saturday, December 27, 2008

The Dregs of My SocialNetworking...

Am almost ready to let go of this part of my life. I have been saying I will move on and now I must follow through. 2008 was the year of BIG CHANGES. 2009 will be the year of FOLLOW THROUGH.
And LISTS. Oh my how I love to make a list.
A few thoughts on my blogging though, to you my gentle reader.
I have not made up my mind on what exact level of freedom I will give my thoughts and words here on this public forum.
I have spent some time reading a few blogs here and there. Most people's words are just little updates on their lives. No harm.
But some choose to use this somewhat "anonymous" venue as the release point of their seemingly innermost and private thoughts. And, a travelogue of their doings.
I will not commit to a number of blogs per week/month/year.
I just commit to spending the bulk of my internet time on this site and not others.
No pictures though. I still don't have a camera.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

The Anti-Social Network.

I am contemplating a new idea for myself.
I will no longer participate, actively anyway, on any social network.

It eats up too much time that I could better spend doing a multitude of tasks that others do daily, such as:
1. Read books.

2. Practice creating new coiffures in my mirror.
3. Crochet and other needlecraft.
4. Sew items of use for various children in my inner circle.
5. Plan and budget my resources to the best use/efficacy.

This will take place on December 1, 2008.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Love in this Club

I received an email from an acquaintance. Our families live in the same village in Samoa, and we attended the same LDS ward as well.

She has been going through the trials of seperation/divorce for a few years now. It's difficult. There is a child to consider. But I saw that she had lately posted up pictures with huge smiling faces and heart warming sayings on her social network profile.

It reminded me of myself and how unbelievably happy being in love can make you feel. It never ceases to amaze me how SAD I used to be. I didn't realize it until I stopped being that way.

The lonelyness birds just up and flew away on April19, 2006. I remember that day because it was the first date for J and myself.

I married my first husband in 1997, after dating him for 8 months. I know now that he can't have really loved me, because he didn't know me. And I know he didn't know me, because I was still finding out who I really was.

In 2004, after way too many fights, arguements and physical altercations, I left home to try out Hawaii on my own. We had plans to try and work it out, but it never did. I had been vascillating between long-distance marriage with a philandering husband who wanted to keep his chick in Samoa and me and my resident alien sponsoring self in Hawaii. It took me only 2 years alone in Hawaii before I shook myself up enough to file and finalize the divorce.

The saddest thing was that I had let myself grow more depressed and unhappy for most of my 9 years of marriage to my first husband. Me, the happiest person I know.

I didn't recognize who I had transformed myself into. It wasn't his fault. His was always just an ever present guilt trip I surrounded myself with. I never thought another person's opinions on who I should be would make me unrecognizable to myself.

And just as amazingly, I've never known how much being loved, supported and cherished can empower you.

Love in this Club is for all the mothers/women/females who are trying to get free from a bad relationship.

Love yourself first, so that you can love your children.

Trust yourself, so that you can trust your new partner.

Enjoy the feelings of a new start with someone who loves you.